>> Forwards

>> We are all used to getting many "forwards" in our email everyday.

>> While some of them are funny, some of them are outrageous.

>> Messages of friendship, love, sentiment, jokes, and fun are the

>> soul-matter of these messages. Many times, I receive some of these

>> messages that ridicule the way Indians (as in the people from India)

>> speak English. But fancy this: how would you respond if you receive

>> a "real" email with such English, that too from a prospective employer!!


>> (OK, let me get rid of the stupid ">>"s before every line)

Let me start with a little background. As with many prospective college grads, I was looking for a job the whole last semester. In the process, I registered myself and posted my resume on Monster.com and similar job search websites. What I observed later on is that there are a whole bunch of "desi" (Indian) companies that shop for the recent "desi" graduates that are hungry for work visas and green cards, and lure them to "excellent" jobs after a brief "training". I received my share of these calls.

But one company stood out: ZSS America*. Oh well, its not a company but more of a recruiting agency - or whatever! The first time they called me, I sort of sensed their "quality" and showed no interest. I made clear to them that I am not looking for any "excellent" company that files H1Bs (work visas). They repeatedly kept calling me even though I never returned their calls. Today, I received an email from them. What is below is an actual email text that I received. I did NOT edit this text in any way except for the company's name. Take a peek :

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"Hi! Dear Seema Rao,

Greetings

Thank you for respond to ZSS America Inc. We had a talk some time back regarding the requirements and the process how my company works on OPT's/CPT's. I now was trying to reach you but some how there is no respond to the telephone message my question would be your willingness to join us. I would appreciate if you could join ASAP. Well to state how is works, we would like to know the basic level (foundation) of the technologies that you feel comfortable. There would to a simple conversation with out General Manager.

I will be waiting for you mail or call regarding the same.

Do get back ASAP.

Thanx & Regards,"

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Wow, what a professional quality message! Without a speck of doubt, this message qualifies for a "forward".

Now, I am trying to compose my own professional quality reply to the above email. I put my best efforts, and after a couple of drafts here is the best that I could do!

"Hi! Sir ji!

I, seema rao, am writing my respond to your phone messaging. I am surely remembering our talk about "how is works on OPT's and CPT's". I am see your phone message and respond now to talk about my "basic level (foundation)" of the technologies "with out" General Manager. Since you "well stated how it works", I shall starting ASAP with you.

I am surely interesting to H1 and Green Card in Amreeka. I can phogram in She, Joba, and She ++. I am too good in programming.

I question about the timing to calling you. Please mail in hole. I am reverting to you.

Thanx & Buzz

Seema Rao."

If you guys think I need improvements in the mail text, please email me or leave your comments. PUH-LEEEEZE! My future depends on my email "respond" to those folks. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Hope you had fun!

Until the next blog,
Au Revoir!

*Note: I had changed the name of the company. I assume no responsibility if feelings of some one with a company that has the exact name or a similar name gets hurt.